I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
