gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
