do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
