I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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