Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize