I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
