if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Randomize
