Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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