3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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