I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
