when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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