pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
