are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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