What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Randomize
