Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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