You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
