you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
