You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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