so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
