OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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