Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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