dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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