I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
