I need help removing her.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
