You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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