i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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