coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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