Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize