my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
