you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
