it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
