Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
