I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
