I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize