Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
