I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
