this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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