I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
