oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Bring me that man meat
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
