Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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