Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
