you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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