white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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