I skipped work to stalk him.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
