So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
