Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
