I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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