Sponge bath it is.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Pants are for mortals
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
