Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
