capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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