evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There's always time for handjobs
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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