By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
