According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
