she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
