i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
