What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
