Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
