p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Randomize
