The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
