I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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