windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
