I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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