You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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