We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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