Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
