people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
