Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My vagina just clenched in fear
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize