Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
